4 ways to totally mess your Windows system (the dark side of the computer force)

I'm a reformed troubleshooter.

I've helped people solve their computer problems for years.

I'm sick of seeing they ignore what I say and constantly repeat their mistakes, so I turned to the dark side and I'm going to let you have your way and totally mess your system (but I won't bail you out this time :)).

There are several ways for you to totally compromise a Windows system, but it's up to you to choose how.

• I've seen a commercial on TV/Internet/whatever on this program and it promises to boost your computer speed by 200%. Really, buddy? Hmm. Oh, I scanned my system and it found 20,000 infected files and problems, so I think that money's really well spent. Congrats, bro, you're on the right track to mess it all up. I feel so good because my friend, who's an expert, never heard about this program but now my PC is fine. Tell me something, have you ever heard of that software before? Did you Google to see what it is and what alternative you can get for free? Doesn't this sound weird to you? Oh, sure, YOU'RE the expert: well, congrats buddy, in this very moment some guy in Russia, China or elsewhere is popping a sparkling wine bottle.

• Oh, that Windows Update really annoys me, it pops up all the time so I've disabled it. I gotta work, can't waste my time with these stupid things. Way to go, dude! Yeah it's so annoying isn't it? Awesome, keep going!

• I can't get a virus, I have an anti-virus program. Seriously? First: how long ago you did you update it last? Second: What anti-virus program are you using? Third: You're visiting shady sites, downloading junk, p2p and consciously running risks, so now what? It's the same as if you went to a place infected by leprosy and then you'd bitch for getting sick.

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•  You got an email from this hot Russian girl who sent you some alluring pics and you couldn't help click the link in the email body to see more.  Well, the Russian girl (if there really was a girl behind all that) is now celebrating with caviar and champagne toasting to you!

As you see, you've got a wide set of options to mess up your computer; some can be more disruptive than others.


Keep up the good work and let the (dark side of the) force be with you.